We used to work together for a year and a half and a year ago he left the company. He was 23 to my 28. I flirted with him at group outings we’d go to with our coworkers over months and we made out once immediately after he left the job. I would always get really drunk to make a move because I really liked him and he made me nervous. He is the inexperienced type so also didn’t lead or ask me out officially but apparently told my friend he liked me, and hoped we’d be dating soon (of course I only found out after the fact). After we kissed he invited me to hang out with him and one of his female friends at his new job, and I got cold feet/didn’t want to show up in case he was involved with her in some way. So I got flaky and canceled. Then I asked to reschedule, he agreed, then last minute asked to invite some of our mutuals too, internally I felt he was trying to make it not a date, so I canceled that plan too, and then his tone over text got cold/a bit butthurt.
The next time we saw each other he essentially “broke up” with me even though we weren’t dating, because he only wanted a serious relationship and what we had was too casual, and that he perceived me as preferring casual. I panicked and agreed I did like casual, and he said “yeah no kidding, I could tell” but also part of me was expecting him to reject me no matter what I said which is why I didn’t beg to keep him. He said then it’d probably be better if we acted normal at group outings if we ran into each other, that he’d be happy to be friends. I couldn’t do anything at this point so I just agreed. He said I could always call or text him though if I thought of anything else, and I thanked him for his honesty, we never talked again. Few weeks later he completely deleted his instagram account, he stopped going to group outings, and none of our mutuals have heard from or seen him.
Right after the convo I thought whatever, he’s younger and it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway, I need someone more consistent in pursuing me. But I’ve been on multiple hinge dates, even flirted with a new guy at work but still think about him. His only social media is LinkedIn and it appears he is still in the area. I have no idea if he’s in a relationship or not, but he’s seemingly pursuing a masters now and still at the job he started after he left our job, so he probably has plenty of opportunities to meet new people. I’ve been thinking about reaching out but it’s been a full year now. Thoughts?
